Books for Aspergers

First, understand that Aspergers is not a handicap or an illness that you can "get over." It is a genetic difference like the color of your skin. Go ahead and grieve the hope you had of eventually becoming Normal. Then you are in a position to deal with Normals as a unique and valuable individual. We do a bad job of acting Normal, but we do a great job of being Aspergers. Now lets learn how to act "Normal", in order to get along in this world.

The first book I would recommend would be The Power of Body Language by Tonya Reiman. This teaches you about the subtle cues Normals use to communicate. You have heard that 90% of Normals' conversation is nonverbal. That's right. It is body language. Memorize this book.

The second book I recommend is Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships by Temple Grandin and Sean Barron ( and edited by a Normal, Veronica Zysk.) This book really decodes the social mysteries and unspoken expectations that Normals assume everyone knows. These are rules you have violated and been punished for violating without even knowing what they are. It was an unspoken expectation that you knew them and violated them with malice of forethought. Memorize this book.

The third book I recommend is The Five Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman. Each of us has an expectation in our hearts, "If you loved me you would ." These fall into five categories. If you try to get into a relationship with someone without knowing what their love language is, the odds are 20% the relationship will work. Memorize it.

A fourth book I recommend is Emily Post's Etiquette: A Guide to Modern Manners by her daughter, Elizabeth Post. It is a compendium of what to do in a wide variety of social circumstances. You can memorize it, but social rules evolve over time. In ten or fifteen years your manners could seem to be quaint and outdated. But they would still work.

A fifth book I recommend is Developing Talents by Temple Grandin and Kate Duffy. It is about getting careers for those with Aspergers and high-functioning Autism. There are places where we excel! They just need to put up with our "liabilities." However, the world is about to undergo a major change. The new careers will be farming and crafts.

A sixth book I recommend is Aspergers in Love by Maxine Aston. It is about couple relationships and family relationships. It includes mixed marriages of Normals and Aspergers. If you are in this type of relationship, memorize this book.

Title price value description

Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships	25	10	Two Autists and a normal define the rules that ASD people don't normally know and normals use to judge us by.
Aspergers In Love	23	8	A study of 41 Aspergers and 35 of their partners how to make a relationship work
The Five Love Languages	13	8	How people understand love. This gives us clues as to how to emotionally reach people around us.
Asperger's and Self-esteem	25	7	Famous people who displayed Aspergers characteristics.
How to Find Work that Works for People with Asperger Syndrome	23	7	A vocational consultant with years of experience helping Aspergers get jobs and get along at work
The Power of Body Language	25	7	How to learn by rote the body language skills that normals take for granted in business and social encounters
Developing Talents	15	6	How to cope in the workplace. What jobs fit our capabilities, how to get a job and how to get along in the workplace
Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome	25	6	A psychologist with many years of experience counseling Aspergers wrote about what Aspergers is and dealing with all aspects of life as an Aspergers.
Thinking In Pictures	14	6	An autist explains to normals how we think, see, hear and feel differently than normals.
Animals In Translation	15	5	An autist explains reasons for animal behavior. We ASD folks never grew out of these animal instincts like normals.
Body Language	16	5	How to learn by rote the body language of normal social communication
Pretending to Be Normal	17	5	An Aspergers woman's biography with helpful advice at the end
Asperger Symptom Employment Workbook	24	4	An Asperger wrote about getting ready for work, analyzing what you would be best at doing and how to get along at work. The last third is a workbook.