Unwritten rules of social relationships

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  1. Rules are not absolute. They are Situation-based and People-based.

    1. Flexibility thinking is a highly important ability

    2. People are individuals, each with their own ideas, perceptions, strengths and weaknesses.

  2. Not everything is equally important in the Grand Scheme of Things.

    1. Not everything tips the scales evenly and we need to weigh things against each other in importance.

    2. Helping people get into their head different and varied ways of categorizing objects is the first step in developing flexible thinking.

    3. Sometimes you have to do what somebody else wanted to do; you aren't always going to get your way.

  3. Everyone in the world makes mistakes. It doesn't have to ruin your day.

  4. Honesty is different than diplomacy

  5. Being polite is appropriate in any situation.

  6. Not everyone who is nice to me is my friend.

  7. People act differently in public than they do in private

  8. Know when you are turning people off.

  9. “Fitting in” is often tied to looking and sounding like you fit in.

  10. People are responsible for their own behaviors.

From the book, The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships by Grandin & Baron