Eating Pets
Back Up

Eating Pets

Reasons to eat dog.
1.  Evolutionally dog does not mind that we eat some of their comrades because in the big evolutionary picture, it is a win win for them.  Dog is one of the most successful species in world for adopting people as their master or neighbors.  Ironically in the west we do not allow dogs live as our neighbors (free without owners as still exists in some parts of the world).  We routinely round up any freely roaming dogs and exterminate them or put them up for adoption.
2. Millions of healthy dogs are put to sleep each year in the U.S. alone.  All those good protein rich meats could feed world hunger and save the environment.
3. Some people find dog meat tasty.

Reasons not eat dog:
1. Gross factor.  It is kind of disgusting.  But eating dog meat was once acceptable in North America, although I have no idea how common it was. I think it's currently in disfavor, socially unacceptable, and possibly illegal in Mexico, but I've heard stories from "Old Hands" (people that have lived or traveled in Mexico since back in the 40s), that they have eaten dog tacos.
2 cultural taboo.  You will be shunned as weirdo if you serve dog meat at your next block party
3. Too expensive.
4. Could be illegal in some jurisdictions.

Follow local law.  Since dogs are kept as pets, in some countries it is illegal to slaughter and eat dog.
Dog meat is similar to wild boar. 
Stew or soup is good.
Dog meat curry stew: spices and chili pepper cover the gamy taste.
Dog recipes
Korean recipes
preparing dog meat

CAT

Question: What's the best way to cook a cat? I was thinking of slow cooking one.

A quick check on any search engine will uncover a striking lack of quality cat eating advice available in English.

Cat Skinning- Making the Cut
The History of THE FINGER
Ever wonder who was the first person to flip someone off? I bet you didn't know if happened more than 2500 years ago.

The day may come, for whatever reason - rioting, pestilence, famine, or just plain curiosity - you will need to eat a cat. Your very survival may depend on this handy guide.

PREPARING YOUR CAT FOR CONSUMPTION
Since cat meat isn't commercially available in the United States (and illegal to boot), you'll probably have to prepare cat yourself. If you live in the more enlightened domains of East Asia, and can purchase cat at the local market, you may want to skip this step and proceed to COOKING YOUR CAT.

First, get a large cutting board and lay out your cat. Lop off the head, the tail and the feet with a sharp butcher's knife. These parts of the cat contain little usable meat, so toss them aside.

Next, make a longitudinal incision on the cat's abdomen. Reach your hand (wear gloves!) into the body cavity, and remove all of the internal organs. Discard them- especially the liver. It may look tasty, but the liver of a felis domesticus is frequently too toxic for human consumption.

SKINNING YOUR CAT
There’s more than one way to skin a cat- our exhaustive research uncovered two. To summarize, use a sharp knife to trim off the skin, and pull it back, snipping away at the muscle tissue.
One Way to Skin A Cat

Gourmands like to skin their cats differently. They shun using a skinning knife, calling it crude. They recommend you grab the loose skin around the head stump, and using a pair of pliers, peel it back off the carcass like a banana, rolling it off the body. The final step before cooking is to wash the meat of stray gristle and hairs. Nobody likes cat hair in their food.

COOKING YOUR CAT
Now you are ready to cook! One USENET account recommends placing a cat in a very high powered magnetron microwave. This device supposedly can cook a cat in approximately 10 minutes- the proteins are denatured (cooked), and sugars caramelized by microwave heating. The cat may be "cooked" but will it taste good? If you've ever tried to microwave a raw hamburger, you'll know the answer is "no." For the best taste, our reader inquired about possibly slow cooking a feline. That's exactly what we recommend - a slow cooked Beer Roasted Cat. Other cat recipes you may enjoy are classic Cat Tamales, Cat in Spicy Ginger Sauce, and Cat Au Gratin.

BEER ROASTED CATDO NOT USE BEER
1 cat cut into roast
1 can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup
1 cube of beef bouillon
1 clove of garlic
1 Fine Irish Stout, a lot like a popular dark Irish Beer®, but NOT that brand at their lawyers' request. They allege this article, educating others in the legal eating habits of over 100 million people world-wide, and specifically in rising East Asian markets, is "highly offensive."

Scraped CatCover and soak cat roast in salt water for 24 hours. Drain water and then cover and soak in beer for 6 hours. Drain and place in crock pot with your cans of soup. Add a clove of garlic, and a cube of beef bouillon. If you start to slow cook your cat in the morning with your George Foreman Cooker (or it's ilk), you'll have finely cooked feline in time for supper.

If a slow cooker is not available, a cat can be baked at 350 degrees for 2-3 hours in a conventional oven and still come out pretty good. Beer Roasted Cat is fantastic served with mashed potatoes, collard greens, and fresh, homemade egg rolls. When planning a full meal just remember- cat is a course best served hot!

Skinned Cat Cat may not be the most glamorous, or tastiest of game meats, but with a little thought and preparation, Baked Cat can make the belly of the persnicketiest diner glow with home baked goodness.


CAT COOKIN' RESOURCES


  A good-sized adult cat, when skinned out, should
 have enough meat on it's bones to make a six or eight
 tamales. Smaller cats and the immature kittens (often
 sought for their tenderness), won't yield quite as much
 meat, so adjust the number you will need, accordingly.
   Maybe you have a commercial source of pre-packaged cat.
 Let me suggest, however, that you kill and butcher your
 own. Skinning cat isn't as much of an ordeal as you may
 think. First, lop off the head, and discard it.  It contains
 no usable meat, and the brain of a cat is too small to bother
 with. Believe me, it would take many, many cats, just to
 make a small pan of brains and eggs!
                     (\(\
               (\   /)///_
                \\_//.-\  )____
                |_ /   .-'-----'
        ___     (_)_.-'
      =/ o \=
      ( x_x )
       \/ \/
   The next thing you want to remove, is the tail. This
 should also be discarded...
             _ __
            ( (  \
             / / |
            / /  /
            \ \  \
          -./_/   \       _.---._
                   \  _.-'_.-'-._`-.
                   |  \.-'       `-'
            ______/
   Get rid of the feet, next...
   \    \
    \.--.|
     `---'
    .---.
   .`--'(_
   `-.__;;;
   You may then make a longitudinal incision on the cat's
 abdomen. Reach into the body cavity, and remove all of the
 internal organs. Discard them; especially the liver,
 which is frequently toxic in domestic cats. In any event,
 it is quite inedible. There are no organ meats in cat.
 The Swedish make a practice of eating cat genitalia, and
 although they may relish these portions, I would not
 suggest you try it. Mad Cat Disease has definitely been
 linked to the eating of cat reproductive organs.
           |____|
           /   \
          /  _ /
          | / \)
          \_)) )
          ( _))_)  _ _
  _ __    )) ((   / / |
  \ \ \  (_)-'_) / /  /
   \ \ \  (_( )) \ \  \
    |_| |_ (_((  /_/   \
   .' |  \`.((_).'      \
  /                     |
  `.___________________/
   At this point, you can now "skin" the meat. This is
 accomplished by grabbing the loose skin around where the
 head was removed, and pulling it back. Use a pair of pliers,
 if necessary, but try not to resort to using a knife in
 places where you have trouble. With a little practice, you
 should be able to peel the cat's skin back, and continue the
 process until you have rolled it completely off the body.
        __..\/
       /\ \  \\
      /_/\_.___\   "Some gourmets will tell you to start
     /\~()/()~//\  skinning from the open abdominal area.
     \_  (_    _/  I advise against this; it is the cruder
       \ //\\ /    method, and you will definitely have to
     __/\ __ /\__  use your knife at some point to finish up.
    /  \ \  / /  \ There may be more than one way to skin a
   /    \/\/\/    \ cat, but there is only one way to do it
  /      \  /      \ properly, and elegantly. After you've
  |   |   \/ __|   | skinned a few cats my way, I'm certain
  |   |   ;    |   | you'll agree that it IS the best method.
  |   |   :    |   |
   Now that you have your cat skinned, gutted, and trimmed of
 extraneous limbs and the head, it's time to wash the meat. If
 you skinned the cat properly, there should be no hair remaining
 on the meat. Nevertheless, you should wash it carefully, to make
 sure there are no stray hairs.
   For best results you should soak your cat in salt water, for
 at least an hour. If you have guests coming and are pressed for
 time, you can skip over this step. If you add a little extra
 seasoning to your cat in the cooking process, even a true
 connoisseur shouldn't be able to recognize that you skipped over
 the soaking process.
           __________
          (          )
           \        /
            \      /  "Okay, now that we've got that little
            |______|    chore out of the way, let's START
           /_/\_.___\   COOKING!... First, we're going to
          /\\~()\()~/\  flense the meat from the bones. We're
     /|   \_    _)  _/  making tamales, remember! If this dish
    / /     \  //\\/    was to be baked cat, you could just toss
  _/_/    __/\ __ /\__  the beast in the oven at 350 degrees, and
 (/.(\   /    \__/  / \ sit back and wait for a couple of hours.
 (o/_/  /         o/   \ But what we need is bone-free cat strips,
  \   \/           |    \ to toss right into the frying pan..."
   \      /        |    |
    \    /|       o| |  |
     \__/ |        | |  |
          |        | |  |
                        
          _____
      .-""     ""-.
    .'  _.-----._  `.
   /  .'.  `::,`:`.  \_______________________
  / :: ::; `;:' .::'  \                  (_) \
 |    .::'.: `:::. :.  |_____________________/
 |   ::. .::':: .:'   /|
 |\  .:: :::  .::'   / | "Fill your frying pan up with the cat meat,
 \ `.     :;. ::.  .' /   to which you should add 1 cup of Mexican-
  \  `.__________.'  /    style chili sauce, 2 cloves of garlic, and
   `-.            .-'     1 tablespoon of crushed cumin seeds. Add
      `-.______.-'        chili powder, and salt and pepper, to taste.
                          Fry at a medium-high temperature in a little
 cooking oil, stirring occasionally. After ten or fifteen minutes,
 add 1 cup of water, reduce heat, and simmer."
   "Meanwhile, place 3 cups of cornmeal in a mixing bowl. Add 1/4 cup
 of butter, 1/4 cup of lard, 1 teaspoon of baking powder, and 1/2 a
 teaspoon of salt. Mix well.
   [A note about lard: Lard tastes much better than vegetable
    grease, but if you are a disgusting wide-body, you better
        just use Crisco, or a similar product.]
   To this, add one and a half cups of chicken or cat broth. Beat
 until you have a light, soft dough."

           __________
          (          )
           \        /    "Now take a small ball of your dough mixture,
            \      /      and spread it out on a corn husk. Remember
            |______|      to pre-soak your corn husks for an hour or
           /_/\_.___\     two, so they will be soft and easy to roll.
          /\\~()\()~/\    If you don't have any corn husks, you can use
          \_    _)  _/        _ aluminum foil, in 4x4 inch squares."
            \  //\\/        _(_)
          __/\ __ /\__     /\\\\
         /    \__/  / \    |___/
        /         o/   \  /   /
       /           |    \/   /
      |   |        | \      /
      |   |       o| |\    /
      |   |        | | `--'
      |   |        | |
                        
                       .-'"""""`-. "Spread at least a tablespoon
                    .-'.-' .-' .-'  full of your filling down the
                 .-' .-' .-'.-'    center of your dough. Then roll
              .-'.-'  .-' .-'     the whole thing up, tucking in the
           .-'   .-'.-'.-'       ends of the corn husk, so it stays
        .-'.-'   .-'.-'          together. It should look about like
     .-'.-'  .-' .-'             this."
     `-._____.-'




   )        (       )
   (           ___   (            "When you have 12 to 18 tamales ready
  )       ( __(___)__    (    (     to cook, steam them over boiling
    __..--""         ""--..__ )       water, for about two hours."
   |_________________________| )
   |                         |___________________
 ( |                         |__)________________)
  )|                         | )
   _\_______________________/_ (
   |                         |
   |                         |__________________
   |                         |__________________)
   |                         |
   |                         |
   |                         |
   |                         |
   |                         |
   |                         |
   `-._____________________.-'


           __________
          (          )   "Garnish with a little lettuce,
           \        /     spread a little salsa over the
            \      /      top, and they're ready to serve!"
            |______|
           /_/\_.___\
          /\\~()\()~/\
          \_    _)  _/
            \  //\\/
          __/\ __ /\__
         /    \__/  / \
        /         o/   \
       /   |       ||   \
       \   \       |/   /
        \   \_...---.../_
       _.-""   __________""-.
     .' .'.'  / / / / / /\ `.`._
     `. ::   ()()()()()/ /   :: `.
       `.`. ()()()()()()/  .'.'_.'
         `-.______________.-'  

LET'S COOK OUR CAT
Remember the Twilight Zone episode where they translate the alien book, To Serve Man and find out it is a cookbook as the people of Earth take off in the Alien's spaceship? In a stunning reversal of metaphor, Let's Cook FOR Our Cat turned out not to be a simple way to prepare your feline for consumption, but a way to cook gourmet food FOR your cat. This is a silly and expensive way to fatten a cat - use cheap dried food like big meat packers do.

AnotherwayHOW TO SKIN A CAT:
Two High School chicks from Berkley show you how to skin a cat in preparation for dissection- or even cooking. Then they go on to pull out its insides and marvel at its genitalia in the name of "science". Pictures and videos included.

STARVING ANGOLANS EAT CATS
People eat cats and dogs in the central Angolan city of Huambo, where food supplies have all but disappeared. 300,000 people have flocked to the city, Angola's second largest, to flee fighting in the region between the government and rebel forces.

CAT FEASTS
An estimated 200 Beijing families report their cats stolen a month. Mostly, the missing kitties are sold to wholesale markets for about $3 each. To eat.

The Koreans call their favorite cat dish "Goyangi-tan" - or "Liquid Cat." Fire up the blender - sounds tasty.

 

edited: July 23, 2016                orderofsaintpatrick.org/current/eating-pets.htm