First, pray for God to speak Truth to you about the sins and unforgiveness our hearts have hidden from us or minimize to us. The traumas often tempt us to sin through our hearts' wanting to act out the incident. Instead, we need to re-experience the pain and ask Jesus to come heal it at that moment. This is harder to do than it sounds. In revisiting your old traumas and sins, you revert to your old nature. But the Christian nature must fight through to get Jesus involved in healing and cleansing us.
1. INCIDENTS: the teacher calling me dumb when I was in the second grade, not being invited to a certain party, deserted by a loved one, etc. Ungodly lessons from parents, teachers & relatives. Sexual abuse, torture, bullying, insults, prejudice, name-calling that hurt. Ungodly lessons from television. Neglect or lack of role models.
2. GENERALIZATIONS: hatred of a certain class of people, excessive anger at a certain type of behavior, fear of a class of animals, negative judgment about "life", resentment at the Creator, etc.
3. ACTING OUT: angrily reacting to certain topics or events, always avoiding certain topics or places, depression triggered by certain topics or events, obsessive behaviors, compulsive behaviors, stubbornness, dishonesty, denial, slander, etc. Idolatry of people, places or things.
4. ATTITUDES: caretaker/controller attitude, shamed-down dependent role, coldness, shameless, shyness, haughtiness, independence, bitterness, manic-depressive, recluse, machismo, etc.
5. IDENTITIES: Loser, worthless, never amount to anything, stupid, flighty, helpless, powerless, hopeless, not good enough, etc. Life commands from authority figures.
The statements must be very specific and as detailed as the Holy Spirit is giving you!Again, when the Lord shows you one of these things, quickly turn to Jesus, renounce it and ask Jesus to speak truth into that situation. Tell Him that your could do that thing -- but you refuse to, so help me God.