Aspergers and Marriage

We Aspergers are socially a wreck because of our marriages collapsing.  Often we pick someone who is neurotypical to marry.  Bad choice.  

If the wife is the neurotypical, they had hopes they could fix their spouse.  As time goes on, they lose hope and divorce.  There's no fixing Aspergers.  The husband never fixes and doesn't eventually read their mind.  He's forgetful.  If he doesn't make a large amount of money soon, it's over.

If the husband is the neurotypical, he married without getting to know her well.  She doesn't read his mind.  She makes mistakes. He starts running around with neurotypical women who he gets along with better. Eventually, he drops the Asperger and her kids - unless she has lots of money.  

If both of them are Aspergers, they both bumble along, forgetting things and having accidents.  They will get in on the same obsession and find a social club that has the same obsession.  They might be in an area with the same obsession, like, say, a silicon valley or rodeo.  That may be where they met each other. They forgive each other for forgetting, because they both are just as bad off! That marriage is good for life. The kids get used to their parents being different and become mellow.

Sex for a neurotypical is slow with a full mind meld.  It builds up to the act and takes a while.  Sex for an Asperger is something they both can get into.  It's fun & quick.  This is a BIG difference, but people are embarrassed to admit this is why they want out of the marriage.  But it is.

Since most Asperger marriages are are with a neurotypical, the kids end up getting wrecked in the wreckage of the marriage.  And the divorce is equally hard on them.  This is a big source of PTSD among Aspergers.

editted:  April 19, 2017         orderofsaintpatrick.org/aspergers/aspergers-marriage.htm