Good Grief
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good grief

When we go through a change, whether positive or negative, we need to adjust to it way down deep.

stage 1, we reject it.  This is called denial.  "I can't believe this is happening."  "It can't be this bad - or good."  "I don't want to think about this anymore."  "Maybe it's not that bad (or good) anyway."
stage 2, we go into magical thinking to cope with it.  "If I do what I always have done harder, maybe I can make everything okay again." 
stage 3, we go into a time of anger.  "This is your fault, God!"  Or father or authority figure, etc.  "How could I have been so damned stupid."
stage 4, we go into mourning and weeping.
stage 5, we go into resignation.  "Depression sure is a bummer."  "I wonder if I caught something?"
stage 6, acceptance. " I guess It's time to get on with life."  "What can I do with this new situation?"

People can help us get through the adjustment by giving us acceptance and affirming as we share where we are at this time.  Jesus can get us through the adjustment in amazing time by speaking Truth into where we are.  The Holy Spirit speaking through a Christian can also get us through the adjustment quickly.

Here's a list of hindrances to processing grief work.  If we get stuck on one stage, we are cursed with cycling through all the prior stages.  Major traumas that are unresolved can be dangerous.

Our family or church or society can be destructive to getting through the griefs of life.  If this is unsafe and becomes chronic, we may not want to go through the process.

Updated: 04/19/2017        Tim Temple, Abbot